Friendship on Speed Dial
Chapter 3
You are reading The Misadventures of Endora Pan, a romantic comedy exploring the unpredictable nature of love and the chaos of everyday life. Set in the world of a young Taiwanese-American woman, this story delves into themes of self-discovery, cultural identity, and finding connection in unexpected places. Written in a witty, self-aware style, this novel is for readers looking for a light-hearted yet emotional read.
“HONEYYYY” Endora wailed into the phone.
“Oh my god; what now?” came an amused and exasperated voice at the other end. “Did you bleed through a pillow again?”
“WHAT!? No! That only happened one—two times, okay?!”
“Yeah, yeah, anyways. What happened?” Tiffany had heard all manner of Endora’s mishaps throughout their twenty years of friendship. And despite never failing to bring up the most embarrassing examples when it best suited her, Endora loved regaling her misadventures with all the dramatics of a true drama queen.
Without further ado, Endora launched into a recap of her collision with Mr. Fedex. She made sure to paint herself in as pitiful a light as possible, describing the stench of the atrocious armpit with all the colour of a Pollock painting. As she expected, Tiffany began laughing long before she finished her most excellent story.
Her bestie’s hysterics continued far longer than the incident warranted, Endora thought with some ruefulness. “Wow,” she said. Her voice dropped to a low pitch to signal grumpiness. The corners of her mouth still twitched upwards in rebellion.
“L-O-L” Tiffany said. “Only you would have a story like this, honey. Jesus fucking Christ.”
“WOW DON’T CURSE AT JESUS!”
“It’s not my fault you’re so ridiculous. And Jesus covers all sins.” Tiffany laughed again. “It’s a good thing you work out so much, I guess. Even though it makes you like a rock.”
Endora scoffed. “I’ll pray for you.”
“Thanks. I’m sure my soul appreciates it.”
“And no one actually says l-o-l.”
Tiffany’s laugh was more like a tinkling giggle. Despite whining about it, Endora loved it. “Yeah well, I’m going to say it anyways because who cares? The point is, why didn’t you get the guy’s number, and when am I gonna get to be a godmum?”
Endora rolled her eyes so hard she thought they might disappear into her head. “What the heck? I’m never going to get with someone who wouldn’t even compensate me for my chocolate. That’s not gentlemanly.”
“Hmm…that is true, although you do seem to go for the assholes.” Tiffany said. “But I mean, who else are you gonna find? The pizza guy?”
“Wow, RUDE.”
“Just saying.” A distant baby’s cry drew a long sigh from Tiffany. “Sorry honey, my little tyrant’s awake already.”
Endora waved her hand to dismiss the apology. “No worries. Thanks for listening to me rant.”
Another laugh. “Always happy to add to my list of Embarrassing Endora stories.”
“Wow.”
“Bye. Love you!”
An indistinct shuffle and subsequent silence from the other end of the phone told Endora her friend had hung up.
Endora heaved a huge, dramatic sigh.