It's Not About the Rhubarb Patch
Never Let Me go | Chapter 13-17
You are reading my weekly review of our November read-through of Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. If you would like to join in, subscribe to my newsletter and make sure to select “Books and Brews” from the manage subscription page.
Warning: spoilers abound
Many thanks to Connie W. for upgrading to a paid subscription! Welcome and thanks to our new Inklings,
, Matthew, Tiffany, , , , Carmen, David, , and Henry.In case you missed it, read Part One and Part Two here.
Table of Contents
Recap
Kathy, Tommy, and Ruth, along with Chrissie and Rodney, drive to Norfolk to look for what they suspect is Ruth’s possible. On the way there, they stop at a seaside town to eat.
Chrissie and Rodney talk about their friend, Martin, who had left the Cottages a year prior and was now a carer. After a while, Tommy interjects and asks where Rodney had seen Ruth’s possible. However, Rodney starts deflecting before making comments about how Hailsham students get to work in shops and parks.
Here’s when we realise the true reason why Chrissie and Rodney have taken these former Hailsham students out from the prying ears of others at the Cottages.
Chrissie tells them about a rumour she and Rodney had heard about Hailsham students. According to this rumour, former students could apply for a deferral and delay starting donations for three or four years. To qualify, a couple would have to prove they were in love so they could enjoy a few years together. Ruth pretends she knows all about this; Kathy plays along. Tommy, without any pretense, denies knowing anything of the sort.
After this, things get a bit awkward, but they all carry on. Once they get to Norfolk, they shop around a bit before heading to the office building and look for Ruth’s possible. However, though there is some resemblance to Ruth, it quickly becomes clear that it is not her.
“I don’t see how it matters. Even if you found your possible, the actual model they got you from. Even then, I don’t see what difference it makes to anything.”
“Thank you for your profound contribution, Tommy,” said Ruth.
“But I think Tommy’s right,” I said. “It’s daft to assume you’ll have the same sort of life as your model.”
This sends Ruth into a rage, and she lashes out at everyone, saying they clones would never be modeled on high-achieving people.
To diffuse the tension, Rodney again suggests visiting their friend, Martin. Ruth agrees and goes with the two veterans while Kathy and Tommy elect to stay behind. Tommy tells Kathy he tried to look for the tape she’d lost all those years ago in the shop they were in earlier—the one with “Never Let Me Go” on it. He says because they’re in Norfolk, where all their lost things turn up, he thought he’d just look for it for her because it had meant so much to her.
Kathy is touched. Together, she and Tommy wander around the shops looking for the tape. They miraculously find it.
Tommy brings up deferrals again, connecting it with the Gallery. He mentions what Miss Emily had said back then when the students asked for compensation for their work being taken away.
“She told Roy that things like pictures, poetry, all that kind of stuff, she said they revealed what you were like inside. She said they revealed your soul.”
Tommy reminds Kathy that Miss Emily had let this comment slip at the time when talking about the Gallery. He guesses the Gallery must have been a way for couples to prove they were in love so they could get a deferral. He thinks when two people do apply, whoever’s in charge of such things at Hailsham would take a look at their artwork over the years and see if they “match.”
He says he threw his chance for a deferral away because he didn’t take art seriously and never got anything into the Gallery. He’s making up for it now, however; he tells Kathy he has been doodling little imaginary animals for some time. When Kathy tries to shoot down his idea again by asking how they would even find where to apply, Tommy says they’d have to find Madame.
As they continue talking, Tommy mentions the time he saw Kathy flipping through porn magazines before. He says he realises now that she’d been looking for her possible and reassures her that her sexual urges are normal.
More and more people start leaving the Cottages to start their training, including some Hailsham people. This somehow leads to increased talk of the rumours of deferrals.
Tommy shows Kathy his book of sketches, saying that Ruth’s already seen them. The drawings are intricate, different from what they’d been taught at Hailsham. Kathy is drawn to them regardless, thinking “there was something sweet, even vulnerable about each of them. I remembered him telling me, in Norfolk, that he worried, even as he created them, how they’d protect themselves or be able to reach and fetch things.” After some hesitation, Kathy tells Tommy the drawings are really good and he shouldn’t hide them.
At some point, Ruth finds out about Kathy and Tommy finding Kathy’s lost tape again. Somehow they get to talking about Tommy’s drawings and start laughing about him.
A few days later, Kathy comes across Ruth and Tommy at a nearby churchyard and finds out they’ve been discussing Tommy’s theory about the deferrals. Ruth uses this chance to throw Kathy under the bus and tell Tommy they both laughed at his drawings.
After this, the trio tries to act like normal, but something fundamental had shifted between all of them. When Kathy talks to Ruth about it, Ruth goes along with her. Then, for no apparent reason, Ruth tells Kathy that Tommy doesn’t see her as girlfriend material and that he doesn’t like girls who have been with so many other guys.
Kathy leaves the Cottages to become a carer soon after this.
My Thoughts
Last week, I talked about the fascination the clones have with their possibles. These possibles represent a future they will never have. It’s clear from Ruth’s reaction to the experience how much she held onto this fantasy, and how devastating it is for her when the lady in the office turns out not to be her. It’s at this moment Ruth’s elaborate ideal world is shattered.
If we’d left it at seeing the woman through the glass of her office, even if we’d followed her through the town then lost her, we could still have gone back to the Cottages excited and triumphant. But now, in that gallery, the woman was too close, much closer than we’d ever really wanted.
It’s when they get too close that the dream is shattered. Likewise, as long as Ruth never examines her life too closely, she can continue to hold onto the delusion of an alternate life. She doesn’t have to think about what’s coming in her actual future.
She realises then that she will never be able to work in an office. She will never live the life she has dreamed of. When Ruth says they, the clones, are modeled on trash, it reveals her intense self-loathing. Her fantasy has been a way for her to mask this feeling, even from herself, but this experience breaks her open and she spills it all out.
“We all know it. We’re modelled from trash. Junkies, prostitutes, winos, tramps. Convicts, maybe, just so long as they aren’t psychos. That’s what we come from. We all know it, so why don’t we say it? … We know it, so we might as well just say it. If you want to look for possibles, if you want to do it properly, then you look in the gutter. You look in rubbish bins. Look down the toilet, that’s where you’ll find where we all came from.”
Even though Ruth is a horrible person, I feel a tiny bit sorry for her here. She’s lashing out from disappointed hopes and deep-seated self-hatred. Who among us hasn’t done that at some point before?
Something else I noticed was that this whole realisation dawned on all of the clones while they were in an art gallery. It reminded me of when they were children, creating art for Madame’s gallery. Not only that, but the “silver-haired lady” addresses Tommy, of all people, asking if he is an art student. I’m sure this was not accidental on Ishiguro’s part, but made to highlight the importance of dreams versus reality, creativity and souls. It is also meant to remind us of Tommy’s struggle with art, and to foreshadow what this will mean for him later.
A moment that made my heart twinge was when they arrive at the little seaside town on the way to Norfolk. They are so innocent and child-like in the way they enjoy the little taste of freedom.
Something else I noticed was the unspoken rule between everyone not to bring up those who have gone on to become carers and donors. It brought to mind our tendency not to bring up people who are about to die or have died, and the hush-hush way we skirt around the issue of death.
I love the hour Kathy and Tommy spend together searching for her lost tape. It’s so sweet, and one of the few moments they get to have alone throughout the whole book. It’s also clearer than ever how deeply bonded they are and always have been.
On that note, how much do you love Tommy? He’s so honest he doesn’t pick up on the subtleties of human interactions, yet still incredibly perceptive. When the topic of deferrals comes up, he flatly denies ever hearing such a rumour. The idea of deferrals will be extremely important as we near the end of the book.
The connection Ishiguro made between love and souls is so interesting to me, and gets to the heart of this book. It suggests that deep, binding love between two people is what makes up a soul.
Kathy’s efforts to downplay Tommy’s theory reflect the way she downplays all her strong feelings. Just as she spends the book hiding the depth of her love for Tommy, she also tries to hide how much hope she has for this rumour. She’s afraid of what it means if she allows herself to give into that hope.
Perhaps this is part of the reason why she stays so close to Ruth and why she indulges Ruth’s elaborate lies. She secretly wishes she had the courage to dream as freely as Ruth does. In some indirect way, Ruth provides an indirect way for Kathy to hope for impossible things.
There is so much irony in Tommy’s statement, “None of us are in any particular hurry.” It is another heart-wrenching moment. By now, we know that’s not true for them, for any of us, really. And this is the warning Ishiguro has been leading to. There is never as much time as we seem to think.
Ugh when Ruth tells Tommy both she and Kathy have been making fun of his drawings, my heart sinks every time. Tommy is rightly bewildered; he trusts Kathy so wholeheartedly. Kathy doesn’t make things any better by just walking away (as is her wont when she doesn’t want to confront something directly).
It’s obvious Ruth is so poisonous about this whole thing because she knows the truth: that Kathy and Tommy are in love. That’s why she tries so hard to destroy the idea by stomping all over Tommy and implicating Kathy while she’s at it to drive a wedge between them.
And Kathy acts like she is upset over Ruth’s comment about “forgetting” the rhubarb patch at Hailsham. We know better though, don’t we? She’s actually upset over Ruth telling her Tommy doesn’t see her as a potential partner.
It never occurred to me that our lives, until then so closely interwoven, could unravel and separate over a thing like that. … If we’d understood that back then—who knows?—maybe we’d have kept a tighter hold of one another (emphasis mine).
I’ve always loved this quote. The book is all about holding tightly to the ones we love and to not take time for granted. Perhaps if they had realised how limited their time actually was, they’d have done things differently. Perhaps they wouldn’t have allowed chances to pass them by.
As I watch them fall apart, I just want to reach through the pages and yell at them to come to their senses. Despite reading this book so many times already and knowing what is coming, I still wish there was a different fate in store for them.
Discussion
WHY IS KATHY STILL FRIENDS WITH RUTH?!
Why do you think Ruth is so obsessed with being perceived a certain way, to the point that she’s willing to sacrifice her close friends?
Do you think there is significance in the fact that Tommy chooses to draw imaginary animals as opposed to something else? Why does Kathy think this is ridiculous?
Why do you think Ruth tries so hard to distance herself from Hailsham? Conversely, why does Kathy cling so hard to it?
Seriously though, what is Ruth’s problem? I mean, I know, but even so, why does she always have to be such a bitch? (this isn’t really a serious discussion question)
Next Up
Can you believe we’re finishing up our read-through this coming week?? I had so much fun doing this, reading with you and hearing your thoughts, including those who lurked and only shared their thoughts with me privately haha. Next week, we are reading chapter 18 until the end!
I definitely want to host another read-through! But this takes a lot more time than I expected, so I will have to plan it better in case of unexpected setbacks haha.
If you haven’t yet and would like to join this read-through, subscribe to my newsletter and make sure to select “Books and Brews” from the manage subscription page.
Until next time,
1. I’m not sure what Ishiguro’s intentions were with Kathy and Ruth’s friendship overall, but as a reader, I'm definitely reminded of real-life relationships. With people we’ve grown up with, in particular, it can be difficult to fully let go of the nostalgia. Ruth is very much hot and cold throughout the story, with her horrible moments, and the moments in which she seems to redeem herself, at least in Kathy’s eyes. Kathy herself mentions, “There were two quite separate Ruths”: the Ruth putting on airs in front of everyone, and the Ruth who sits with her at the end of the day, as they confide in each other over hot drinks. I wonder if the “good” side of Ruth is in part why Kathy stays friends with her. (Personal aside: I had a childhood friend like Ruth, who was a good friend only when she wanted to be, which is what I clung to for a long time.) And, as you mentioned, perhaps Kathy feels she can live vicariously through Ruth’s fantasies.
Answering 2 and 4 at once! I wonder if this is another coming-of-age aspect. Perhaps Ruth wants to distance herself from Hailsham, and in turn her old friends, because she doesn’t want to be defined by her past, or highlight how “different” she is from the veterans. Similar to how college students often reinvent themselves because they believe it’s their only chance to do so in adulthood. In presenting herself a certain way, maybe Ruth thinks she can be “accepted” into the veteran crowd and gain more insight into her own future than she might otherwise.
I imagine Kathy clings so hard to Hailsham because it is all she knows, and letting go of it might mean she doesn’t know much at all. Maybe to forget Hailsham would mean to accept that there is a greater world out there, which is intimidating and disheartening, knowing the students won’t be able to live in it.
3. I’m honestly not sure why Tommy chooses to draw animals, but perhaps it can allude back to the point about art revealing souls. Maybe he intends to show the souls of the animals and how complex they are, just as he himself has a complex soul, even if he is a clone. Perhaps the animals represent the clones themselves? He tells Kathy, “It’s like they come to life by themselves,” and Kathy later thinks, “For all their busy, metallic features, there was something sweet, even vulnerable about each of them.” I wonder if some hidden part of Kathy recognizes this, which makes her unsure of how to react.