When God Laughs (and Jesus Sits This One Out)
Chapter 5
You are reading The Misadventures of Endora Pan, a romantic comedy exploring the unpredictable nature of love and the chaos of everyday life. Set in the world of a young Taiwanese-American woman, this story delves into themes of self-discovery, cultural identity, and finding connection in unexpected places. Written in a witty, self-aware style, this novel is for readers looking for a light-hearted yet emotional read.
Now, where was I?
Ah yes, Endora was heaving a huge, dramatic sigh. Vent to best friend cut woefully short by her adorable-but-demanding goddaughter, Endora had no choice but to call her Valrhona chocolate supplier and place a rush order.
Half a frustrating hour later, during which she had to employ some of her most obsequious, HR-learned, people-pleasing tones to negotiate the outrageous express price down to something more reasonable, Endora threw her phone onto her bed.
Normal people would consider going for a drink at this point. Never mind that it was only 3:35 in the afternoon. It was late enough in the day on the east coast, anyway. That’s what folks say these days, right? Endora, though, decided she would rather punch things—preferably someone’s face.
Serendipity had led aforementioned Cathy to gift Endora a ClassPass to a local boxing gym.
Perfect, Endora thought, pulling it up on her phone.
Not perfect. Endora could not believe the rotten luck she was having today. Super, extremely, NOT perfect.
Human sweat and body odor permeated the air of the gym. The sound of grunts and shouts rang. None of that registered in Endora’s brain. Her shoe squeaked as she took a disbelieving step back. She recognized that profile, those glasses, and, she grimaced, that armpit. No freaking way. Guess I’m leaving. She turned to head back out the door, but not before the guy at the front desk called out.
“Hey! You here for the 4:15 class?”
Fedex guy, who had been watching the nearby pair, turned all the way around to face her.
Ohh no, no, no, no, Endora thought, fist clenching over her gym bag strap and begging God to rapture her at once.
God has an off-brand sense of humor, however. Jesus decided this was not the time for His second coming, leaving His poor daughter to turn a brilliant shade of red as she walked back to the counter.
“Mhm. Yep.” Endora’s voice came out in a mortified mumble. Her palms were already slick with sweat. She cursed the day of her birth.
“Cool, let’s get you geared up. The trainer will be with you in just a sec.” Front-counter-guy-who-had-just-ruined-her-life turned to Fedex-guy-who-had-ruined-her-chocolate. “Hey, Dominic, watch the front desk for me while I grab some stuff, yeah?”
Fedex dude, whom we must now call Dominic, gave a dry laugh. “Ha. Ha. You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
“Just for a few minutes, okay? Give her a quick run-down of the gym or something!” Front Desk was already disappearing behind a storage door.
Dominic rolled his eyes before locking them on Endora’s.
Endora wanted the floor to open up and eat her.
“So…”
At least the guy had the decency to look and sound abashed. We can hardly blame him. It’s not every day one collides (literally) with the love of their life by having her face mashed in their armpit and ruining her gourmet chocolate.
Oops, major spoiler alert. Erase that from your memory. Well, I’m sure you saw it coming.