✧ 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 ✧

There’s something sacred about the way he looked at me, like I was a prayer he whispered in the night finally answered, and the reckless abandon with which he loved me, like I was all the meaning he needed, the crowning glory of his existence, something honest about the faith he had in me, like we lived our lives just waiting until we could meet, something pure about the way our love transcends words and time that gave a new definition to the phrase, “two bodies, one soul.”

Five years ago, we lost Ren, the boy we were adopting. the time has been a blur. There are endless moments we have spent, during which I can’t stop myself thinking, “He would have been here for this.” I find myself imagining his response to certain things randomly, like he’s woven into the fabric of my existence still.

The memories we ought to have shared together are excruciating. But I don’t want to think of the sadness right now. Because he’s so much more than his absence.

I remember a boy who loves freely and easily.

I remember his silliness, and the most outlandish comments he’d make out of the blue.

I remember his bizarre taste buds as he tried his best to make me try cheese toast with strawberry jam.

And long conversations about life and human nature and God. I remember someone who had a gift for bringing people together and making each person feel seen and heard.

I remember the way he always went out of his way to help others, because he knows what it is to feel alone.

In all my life, i have never met someone so pure, so kind. A miracle of a person, that he could be so, even after all he had been through.

It was impossible not to love him, and I had the privilege of being most loved by him, of being his safe place.

We understood each other at a level that surpassed understanding, and I will forever treasure him for all these things and more.

And the world will always be missing an entire spectrum of colour for having lost such a human.