That moment when I realise someone is no longer worth my emotions, effort, and time is so powerful and freeing.

I used to hold on for far too long, give way too many chances—until all I had left in the end was resentment.

Something I read about Enneagram Fives is that getting under a Five's skin is a rare and huge deal, but if you abuse that power, a Five will chew off their own arm to get away from you.

And I don't think I'd ever felt so seen.

Because once I'm done, I'm 100% done. All emotions and attachment are completely gone. It's as if they never existed at all.

It's a little bit scary even to myself sometimes, how indifferent I feel toward people I once loved with all my heart. And yet, I'd say that in all cases, it's deserved, because by the time that happens, I'll have given enough more chances than they deserved already.

I'm not quite there yet in this case, but it's..almost there. The window is closing quickly.

The thing is, love can exist, but that doesn't mean a relationship should.

Something I've been pondering is how I've been given much. The kind of unrelenting, pursuing love that God describes of Himself—I've seen it reflected through my best friend, through my husband, indeed through many others. They've taught me how to love with words and deed.

Even before I had them, though, I've been the sort of person to give that to others.

But over the years, I've learned to discern.

Some people are parasites. They will only take it for granted. They will cheapen it because they know I will never leave. It's not that I need gratitude, but what's the saying? Don't give your pearls to pigs? I know; another Bible verse taken out of context lol, but the idea still applies. Some people will never understand how difficult it is to stay, to commit.

Words are cheap.