There are truths I once knew, but had forgotten

Well, not forgotten, but drowned perhaps, by louder voices clamouring in my head. Yet still they came, other voices, speaking of what is certain, what is sure. They break through the haze sometimes, and I remember I am not abandoned—have never been and never will be. They are a cloud of love that envelops me, cloaks me in a warmth that does not burn and will not fade. And they, to me, are each a tendril of deep roots that anchor me to reality and will not let the tempests sweep me from the earth.

They say that to have one true friend is to be truly blessed. Yet I have one, two, three, four, five, six, and words fail me for the miracle of such a thing.

To them of whom I speak, if they don't yet know what they are to me, then here is my chance to tell them, because there is a saying that family is not always blood, and for us that has ever been true.

So now I thank them for walking with me through every peak and every valley, for the laughter they share with me, for the strength they lend me, for the truth they speak into my heart, no matter how many times I may need to hear it, for the prayers that sustain me.

Because of them, the world is not so very hopeless, and because of them, I can know a little of the love of God.

Because I forget often that it's okay to not always be strong, and I don't know how to ask, but they create for me safe spaces to be known and not afraid.

Because they see me, in parts but true parts, and they have stayed, and I know they will stay for the days to come.

This day I chased the rising of the sun and for once do not resent it, but feel it as a dawning that promises, not smoother seas, but at least seas that I need not navigate alone, and that perhaps is enough.

For in these past months when I once again entered a Dark Night of the Soul, the likes of which I have not known for years, they are the constellation of stars that reminds me again and yet again of days I have forgotten, of days to come in which darkness will not endure, and who are with me, and who love me always, always, always.

And I'm not ok, not yet.
but I am still here.